Monday, 23 May 2016

Group therapy - the good, the bad and the potential triggers part 2

So being a day patient and engaging in group therapy means that I am vulnerable about my inner most feelings and fears on a daily basis with a bunch of people who our main commonality is our eating disorders. For this reason you're not going to get on with everyone. We are a bunch of  people, who I may never have encountered in my life, if it wasn't treatment, never mind sharing my inner thoughts which I haven't told to those I most intimate with. 

So understandably you're going to clash which inevitably happened to me. I stood my ground to something which was directed to me which I felt was inappropriate and found so upsetting. My therapist would be happy as I have serious issues setting boundaries, but this time I did. I made it clear that it wasn't okay to say that to me. However, the trigger did get to me. Now I am left feeling like now that I am weight restored my feelings do not matter. I can miss my snack if I am eating a bigger lunch and that's okay. Never mind the head mess that comes along with that or the constant swirl of numbers after numbers which I am calculating. Trust me I am terrible at maths so for me to calculate so quickly shows firstly the extreme anxiety it has caused me and how much I have trained my brain to understand calories. Any other numbers, forget it, but calories I can do quicker than you can say anorexia.

Why are triggers so much worse from someone suffering from the same illnesses than someone who isn't? Maybe because you could blame ignorance or the disorder or maybe it's because it hits that little bit harder when you hear from a fellow sufferer.

How do you deal with triggers? Do you have any tips that help you? 

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