I don't anticipate this to be a blog that is read, as much as I would like to share my story with people I highly doubt anyone will want to read this. I am bored of the endless thoughts in my head so I don't know why anyone else will want to read it!
I have suffered from anorexia since I was 12 years old, I am now 29. A few years ago I was admitted into an eating disorder unit for nine months after a bad period in my life. I left, had some blips but generally was doing a lot better, I would say I was in quasi-recovery but definitely making some positive changes and hey I was out of hospital. I was just at the point where the eating disorder unit were going to discharge me from outpatient care, I was given a break from the service to see how I would cope. Unfortunately I relapsed, with the threats of hospital admissions and all of that looming over me, I decided I didn't want to follow that route anymore. I wanted to leave anorexia in my 20s it wasn't something I wanted to continue into my 30s. So I am in recovery trying to regain the weight, which is a lot harder when you are an outpatient, when no one is forcing you and I am having to continue with my everyday life of going to work and managing day to day activities, but I want to keep fighting on.
I thought I was immune to relapse I was determined in my head that it would NEVER happen to me. I wouldn't be like the rest, but I was cocky, professionals told me I will always be vulnerable, but I didn't listen, now I realise they were right.
So I wanted a place to vent, to recall my story, as I head into the last 6 months of my 20s wanting to leave anorexia there and get on with the rest of my life.